We’d like to hear your horror story or bad experience that caused you to not necessarily “hate” the church, but caused you to be hurt or offended by it.
We do ask that you remain ambiguous about the people or churches that you discuss. Just like in the movies – “The names have been changed to protect the innocent.”
The comments will be monitored for profanity and the like. We wouldn’t want to hurt any others; that would both ironic and unfortunate.
That being said, let’s begin.
That’s hilarious! Which story should I tell? (here they are in no particular order)
Once I worked for a church as a summer intern and when I left they told me they’d send the cheque in the mail (because they had agreed to pay me a certain amount) … very sneaky because they sent me a couple hundred less then agreed with an apology (actually it was more of an explanation) note.
Then my good pastor friend told me I should be his intern, which was exciting, except for the fact that the church refused to let me do my internship requirements. I guess big churches need to have things done all pastorally official and crap! (cause the small church I worked with to make up for it didn’t mind at all!)
The best for last: I volunteered for a missions organization that over-worked their short staffed staff. I was the accounts man and the amount of work was too much for 1 person (often working 8am – 9pm). When I asked for 1 more person it took them 4 months to tell me there were no extra people. So I quit and they put 3 people in my position with in 2 weeks. (it’s never felt so good looking someone in the eye and calling them a liar to their face … I’m sure Jesus would have done the same thing…) When I went home I discovered the horrible feeling I had was called ‘burn-out’ (who knew!), it took me a year of living in my bedroom and talking to no one to recover.
So now I’m planning on planting churches and using all those experiences to my benefit (in other words, how to rip off and abuse people for the churches benefit … i’m joking!).
One time I was at a church that I hadn’t been to in a while, and the pastor there, who was like 325 lbs, says to me “wow, I guess they feed you good at college” I wanted to say, “thanks, fatty.”
I don’t have any particular horror stories. Well, I do, but I’ll save them for later. My beef is with Christianity in general, especially with the Church (capital “C”–refers to churches in general)
I’m a Christian. At least, I call myself a Christian.
But what does that mean? It started out as an insult–an insult that compared those silly Jews who listened to the crazy man that the Romans hung on a cross and killed to the object of their adoration. I bet the Jews that came up with the term “Christian” thought they were pretty clever. It would be like calling an environmental nutcase a “little Gore.”
It’s not like that anymore. “Christian” is a point of pride.
You want to know what this “Christianity” that we are so proud of means? For the unthinking majority of Christians, it means:
-Only listening to Christian CD’s (which are manufactured, lame, musically void, skill-less, pieces of worthlessness)
-Going to Church–in itself not a bad thing. A good thing. But… When you go to a church as a social gathering instead of as a source of spiritual strength; you’re there for the wrong reasons. When you go there to listen to someone tell you how to live your life because you’d rather them tell you then figure it out on your own; wrong. When you’re there because they have coffee and it’s cheaper than a movie… Well…
-Wearing clever t-shirts (t-shirts that more often then not are trying to rip off some secular or worldly entity–the Coca-Cola one, the Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups one, there’s one that looks like a Harley symbol, and a lot of others). Maybe a bumper sticker or two. Those are sure to get brownie points with the Big Guy.
-Not swearing–which I think is one of those laws of man type things. The Bible says let no “hurtful word pass from your lips.” It’s entirly possible to swear without hurting someone. However, I don’t think that its okay to swear around people that you might have a negative influence over or when it could effect your testimony. Know what I mean? There’s a time and a place for everything.
-Following all of the rules…
Following the rules?
Following the rules??? Christianity has become a list. Do’s and don’t’s. Live this way, do these things, don’t do these. Don’t question authority. Don’t think for yourself. Fall in line. Be just like all the other kiddies. Do what you Sunday school teacher tells
Christianity is about where you shop. It’s about what you wear. It’s about who you talk to. It’s a clique. It’s a club. It’s a bunch of high brow people that are too busy listening to crappy music. Too busy reading absolutly content-less books by a fellow named Joel who makes lots of common sense statements with really flowery wording in order to tell you how to live your life. How did he put it? “Be a Better You”? It’s easier to listen to Chris Tomlin than it is to lift your hand and praise God. It’s easier to read a book with some lady who looks like an angel named Joyce than it is to read the Bible and apply it.
It’s easy. Straight up easy to live the life on Sunday then go back to normal, whatever that is, on Monday. Hell… You might even go back to beating your wife right after Church.
Screaming at the kid on Monday. Flip the guy next to you off on Thursday. Cheat on your wife on Saturday. Then bright and happy on Sunday.It is easier to turn a blind eye to those around you because they aren’t in your club than it is to try to relate to them and reach out to them.
Christianity is a thing of pride. Hypocrite.
This is what you (the Church) are proud of. This is why the Church is better than the world. This is what the Church has become. As much as we tell ourselves anything else, the Church will always put itself above the world. It will feign humility—through service projects with limited attendance, or a half-effort to witness to the people. The Church doesn’t love God. It loves itself. Christianity started out as loving everyone. ELE—everybody love everybody. It was radical—it was not conforming to the club; not being in the clique. I don’t blame the Church for this deviation—I blame generations of cultural Christians. The Church is the summation of their failures.
BTW, I think this site is an interesting idea; especially if it gets used a decent amount.
In general I hate how at church you feel that you must act or look a certain way. I hate how people feel that they must give a fake image. It seems that people feel afraid to share what they are really feeling or going through. At church you should be able to ask questions and get honest answers. You should feel safe enough to share and confess whatever struggle you are dealing with. It should be a family-a non-judgemental family. To give a specific example of a horror story: I once went to a church where the pastor in order to try to raise some extra money, put a manger up front and had people come to the front in a line to “give a gift to baby Jesus”. Sick.
So, this one time, I attended a Church-affiliated function in a town I’ll call Lylat. One of the speakers there, who I’ll call Mr. Andross, gave a lecture about prayer. He kicked it off with a prayer of his own—it was about ten minutes long and full of “thee’s” and “thou’s” and run on sentences that were pretty incoherent. I got the impression he had practiced it in front of a mirror more than once and pulled it out any time he got the chance. Anyway…
I didn’t really pay attention too much until he hit the segment entitled “Why God doesn’t hear your prayers!” That kinda irked me, so I woke up. He started by talking about Saving Private Ryan. “How many of you have seen Saving Private Ryan? Most of you, okay. Well, in the beginning you know how they’re all praying in the bottom of the APC’s? All of those soldiers, scared for their lives, some praying for the first time in their lives. That was a truly moving moment in that movie, right? Well, let me tell you something—the prayers of those young men fell upon deaf ears. God did not hear them…”
He went on and on, but his basic idea was that if you’re a sinner, God is incapable of hearing you. That seemed a little silly to me. I’m pretty sure most people are sinners. I’m also pretty sure that everyone was a sinner before they were saved. If that’s true, then praying for salvation would be impossible. He made some other flawed theological arguments, but that one about God not hearing soldiers struck a particular chord with me.
I wanted to post that I can not believe such a site exists! Actually in 2008 I guess I can believe it. This is sad and a waste of time. The nerve of someone to create this site and then post advertisements about it around the neighborhood. If you had a bad experience in church, then that doesn’t constitute a blog about hating church. Every church is not the same. I feel for whoever had the nerve to post this site. To all who responded with their stories, misery loves company and you just entertained the devil!
In response to appalled: The intention of this site is not to denigrate the “churh”…i pretty sure everyone on the site is involved in a church in some way, shape or form! I could be wrong, though!
In response to appalled: You would know anything about any missing signs would you? (haha). I also wanted to let you know I love the church and hope tis site can lead to healing!
I strongly doubt that “appalled” will be back to hear your comments.
I do now see that it could be made a little more clearer that the site intends to help those who’ve been wronged by the Church, not just a site to vent and complain.
Oh… well I guess it’s my turn now.
I don’t like how the Church has fused with the Republican party.
I believe it can cause a lot of problems:
- Anyone but strongly conservative Republicans can feel alienated or unwelcome
- An attitude that anyone not strongly conservative is a baby-killer and America-hating liberal
- Fox News is the new TBN, and Sean Hanity is the new Billy Graham
- Causes churches to strongly support war … When did Jesus ever display or endorse violence?
I also think that church has distanced itself too far from the world and its problems while doing it’s best to look a lot like it.
What I mean is many churches are spending a lot money on building multi-million dollar facilities, extravagant audio/visual productions, and serving coffee on par or better than Starbucks. Its not that any of those are necessarily a bad thing, I just think more emphasis needs to be put on issues Jesus found most important – the weak, the poor, the hungry, the homeless, the sick, etc.
I just finished reading “Jesus Wants to Save Christians” by Rob Bell. In chapter six, Bell asks the question if a church was in danger of being shut down, who would protest?
Only the members?
Only those who attended the services?
Single mothers?
Refugees?
Atheists?
Trust me, I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to this stuff, but I’m realizing that we all (including myself) need to rethink our priorities.
I hate how the church is focused so heavily on numbers and focused so much less on people. Look at these mega-churches with smiling preachers who speak about nothing but happiness and make millions of dollars off of their best selling books. Do you really honestly think all those people know each other? Do you think they even talk to each other after the service? It’s just like a concert to them. They go and hear how to get their best life now and then they leave. If thats not enough, we smaller churches try so hard to get people through our doors on sunday morning so they can “hear the word” or “worship with us” and as soon as the pastor says amen for the last time we go sprinting through the doors to the closest Bob Evans or Golden Coral. As for those people, they stay around and talk to the select few that have stayed behind, heck sometimes the pastor himself is out the door and on his way home before they leave. The church is not only a place for worship, but a place for family, friends and community. People arent meant to go through this life alone. You may say as long as they have God then it doesnt matter, and to a certain extent that can be considered as true, but God has put as all together on this earth for a reason, to love Him first and foremost, but also to love others as He first loved us. So next time you see that lonely new guy hanging out in the back, go talk to him. He wont feel weird and niether should you. As the guy up top mentioned…
E.L.E
Everybody Love Everybody
Check out cathinfo.com if you want to hear some discussion of what is really going on in the Church, and why so many think and feel something is radically wrong.
Christ had to use a bullwhip to clean up the atmosphere in the church of his time. He also commented that the clergy of his day made a convert twice the sons of hell as they were originally. History has a habit of repeating itself.
I have never liked church. Its fake and all the people talk about is how to make your significant other happy by having dinner on the table when HE comes home. They also talk about we this person wasn’t in church that week or who’s marraige has been rocky. I’ve been pushed, dragged, and lugged to church. I’ve been made to sit and not wiggle, move or talk for the last 18 years.
There was a church that I loved deeply. All my friends from school were there. All the love and support that I needed was there. Then my mom got married and decided she didn’t want to go to that church anymore. It felt like she ripped everything I had come to love and cherish right out of my heart. I tried to like the church she picked. I tried to get involved but it didn’t happen. The youth group was a flop because there were no kids my age. I really did hate it.
It wasn’t until I turned 18 that I got a job and started working on Sundays. I was thrilled. I’d rather sit behind a counter for 6 hours then sit for an hour and half at church. Then I lost that job but I’m happy with the fact that my mom doesn’t wake me up for church anymore. She could yell and scream and fuss but she doesn’t. I don’t know why and I’m not going to ask. I partially blame my mom for not making for of an effort in trying ot make my church experience better. I really do have a bad taste in my mouth about church. She has yelled at me about not going about how there is “A patient God who will embrace you when you choose to go to him”. Well I hope his arms don’t get tired because thats not going to happen!
-appalled- Free speech, ok? Why are you even on this site?
-newguy410- you’re right… Apalled probably won’t return.
I think “notgoing” gives us yet another example of church being what people think its supposed to be instead of just being church. It is interesting that what she considered the good church was where she remembered love and support. She didn’t mention memories of how the church looked or the message series or the music. Love and support is probably what “church” is supposed to be. Instead we make it into programs, a certain order that never changes, stereotypes or the latest trend in music. I was sitting in the emergency room with a friend from church who needed me- instead of attending our weekly Bible study. As a pastor’s wife, I had some guilt about missing the time with the other church members. I began to pray for her and her situation and thank God for giving me the opportunity to help someone who was truly in need. I had been feeling frustrated with the lack of member growth at our church. All of the sudden, God gave me a revelation that surprised me. God simply said “this is church.” I thought “how can this be church?”,”I’m stuck in a crappy hospital in Baltimore while Bible study is happening in my house.” God simply said again “this is church.” God has been challenging everything I thought that church should be in the last few months. I am beginning to understand that church is truly a community of believers, growing as Christians together, helping each other in time of need, and helping others in the community. I have to let go of my preconceived notions about size,programs, income, music and of what church is supposed and let God teach me…what church is.